


i don't wanna lose this with you.

by ROSETlCO



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Getting Back Together, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 04:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30015900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ROSETlCO/pseuds/ROSETlCO
Summary: In which Kat and Amanda visit Sonny at the hospital, and for some reason Rafael Barba was there.or, in which Rafael is trying to make it up to Sonny.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	i don't wanna lose this with you.

**Author's Note:**

> hello im back after 2 years bc barisi is canon!!! (ish)

A minor knee surgery had Sonny Carisi sleepy and laying on a hospital bed. Since the surgery was scheduled so early in the morning, the doctors chose to keep him under observation for the rest of the day, just in case. Naturally, Sonny was bored out of his mind. He was too tired to watch TV and every time he tried to look at his phone his eyes started to close. Visiting hours were over and his darling angel ex-boyfriend Rafael had gone home to take a shower, and promised to pick him up afterwards.

Sonny thought Rafael was being very nice about the whole thing, but also like he was trying really hard. They weren't officially back together yet, but they had being seeing each other ever since Rafael came back to New York. It had been 4 years since Rafael left Sonny and New York behind, which was also right around their 3rd anniversary. Part of Sonny never forgave him. "It was a dick move." he told him, when they were both at Sonny's place after court. Rafael apologized the entire night, and the following day, and the following week. In a way he was still apologizing to him. He even took a day off just to spend time with him. Still, Sonny didn't think it was fair to give him credit for doing the bare minimum, but he was still grateful to have him around. 

He'd missed him. When Rafael came into his office that day Sonny was so happy to see him that he forgot why he was mad at him in the first place. They had been texting for a around a year, but only sometimes. Rafael first got in touch to congratulate Sonny when he became an ADA. Sonny didn't respond until the following week. He was still heartbroken over their break-up.

It was casual at first, when they got together all those years ago. They'd meet after work and pretend it didn't happen in the morning, and then they'd do it all over again. But naturally, casual didn't work. Sonny had a tendency of attaching himself to people with such ease, and Rafael wasn't an exception. Four months later, they were officially dating, although they kept it a secret from the squad, because Sonny was still a detective and Rafael was still an ADA. Sonny felt like it was happening all over again, but this time he felt wiser. He wanted to be with Rafael, of course, but he was also scared of getting hurt again. 

Sonny was staring at the ceiling lost in his thoughts when his phone buzzed. Amanda was coming over to say hi with Kat and bring him some drawings her girls had made to make him feel better.

He drifted off for God knows how long, but as soon as he heard noise inside the room, he opened his eyes. Amanda and Kat were looking at him so tenderly, which never happened, especially with Kat. 

"He looks less mean when he's under general anesthesia." Kat laughed. 

"I'm not mean." Sonny grumbled. He sat up so he could look at them.

"We're just passing by, Sonny. We're waiting for a vic." Amanda smiled at him as she walked up to the bed. "We'll be out of your hair in a bit and you can go back to sleep."

Sonny nodded. 

"Jesse made this for you." Amanda placed a piece of paper on the little night stand and sat down by his side. Sonny turned to look at it. "It's you, I suppose." He smiled. 

"What happened to your knee, anyway?" Kat asked as she looked around the room.

"I tried jogging again. Bad idea."

The three of them turned around at the door suddenly opening. In front of them was Rafael Barba. Kat immediately turned to Amanda.

"Barba. What are you doing here?" she stood up to greet him. 

Rafael pointed at Sonny. "I'm picking him up." He closed the door. "I ran into your doctor. She said you're good to go. And that you have to remember tomorrow's appointment and rehab." 

"Nice. How was your shower?" Sonny asked, almost as if he'd forgotten that Kat and Amanda were still there.

"Uneventful." he smiled and walked up to the other side of the bed.

"Raf, could you ask the doctor what was the name of the pills she prescribed?" he asked. "I zoned out when she was explaining."

Rafael laughed and nodded. "I'll be right back. You should get dressed." And just like that, he was gone. 

Amanda couldn't believe it, or maybe she did, after the shock wore off. She and Kat witnessed the entire moment and were left speechless. 

After a while, Amanda spoke. "Did you just call Barba... Raf?"

"Did I?" he closed his eyes.

"Yeah, you did." Kat answered for her. She was grinning ear to ear.

"Anything you wanna explain?" Amanda inquired. 

Sonny let out a sleepy laugh. "Well, I used to call him other things, if that's what you want to know." 

"Huh." she looked up at the ceiling. "I would've never guessed it. But also, in a way, it a bit obvious now that I think about it." but she smiled at him once again. "I'm happy for you."

He nodded. 

"We should go. Let you get changed." Kat said after a silence. 

Kat walked towards the door as Amanda ruffled Sonny's hair. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"I can take care of myself just fine." Amanda stared at him. "But I will, don't worry." 

"Goodbye, counselor." Kat called from the door.

\---

Rafael opened the door to Sonny's apartment, and then carefully helped him inside.

"Are you sure you should be walking right now?" Rafael closed the door. "Bed or couch?"

"Bed." he helped Sonny all the way to his bedroom. His apartment was tiny, compared to Rafael's, so Sonny was thankful that the walk was short. 

Once he was settled, Sonny got under the duvet and sighed. "I'm gonna bring you a glass of water and the pills. Or do you want some tea?"

Sonny smiled at him, in a way Rafael hadn't seen for a while. It was a sleepy smile, but his eyes were shining like they did before, when they were together. "Water is fine, Rafi. Thank you." 

A few moments later, Rafael was back. He watched as Sonny took the pills into his hand. With the other, he tapped the edge of the bed for Rafael to sit on. He sat down as Sonny swallowed the last pill. Rafael took his hand. "Do you want me to stay?"

Sonny thought for a moment. "You wanna take care of me?" he teased. 

"It's the least I can do." Rafael was serious. He almost didn't notice the tease in his voice. Almost, because he knew Sonny too well to be fooled. He played with his fingers. "You're gonna need help around here, you can barely stand up by yourself." 

"I'll be fine."

"I wanna be here for you." Rafael brought Sonny's hand to his lips and pressed a small kiss on his knuckles. Sonny caught Rafael's nose with his fingers like he always did, making him chuckle. "Did I ever tell you you have really nice fingers?" 

"A few times, yeah." 

"I've always liked your hands."

"Believe me, I could tell."

"Don't be cheeky." Rafael stood up. He was about to drop Sonny's hand, but he tugged him back to his side. 

"Stay."

"I was just going to make us something to eat." 

"I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Just get in here."

Rafael was looking at him with eyes full of adoration, and a chuckle. "I would, but you're in my side of the bed." 

Sonny pouted with a laugh. "I'm not supposed to move until tomorrow, so it is what it is."

Rafael walked to the other side of the bed. He sat down and untied his shoes. 

When he finally got into bed, Sonny reached out to take his hand. And they stared at the ceiling in silence for a while.

"I missed you." Rafael sighed a few minutes later. "I know I said it before, but I really mean it. I miss you, Sonny, and I'm so sorry about what happened. I shouldn't have left." Sonny didn't answer him. Rafael placed his hands on Sonny's cheeks. "Hey, look at me." he whispered, but Sonny kept his eyes away from him. 

"You should've told me." he sounded sad, and it killed Rafael knowing that it was his fault. 

"I know."

"But you're here now."

"I am." 

"Don't leave like that again."

"I won't. I promise."

"Okay."

Rafael caressed Sonny's cheek. He turned around to face him. He missed being like this with Sonny. Just the two of them quietly speaking even though there was no one else around. It was Rafael's favorite moments with him. When Sonny was a detective, he saw all kind of things, and Rafael was right there waiting for him, to comfort him, every single time. They'd get into bed and Rafael would stroke his cheek, or play with his hair, and mumble the most tender things. 

"I love you. I love you." he finally whispered. He pressed his forehead to Sonny's. "I love you so much, sweetheart." he kissed his cheek. And then he pressed a small kiss to his lips. He felt Sonny smiling.

Sonny gently kissed him back. "I love you more."

"We're okay, right?" Rafael asked.

"I think we are."


End file.
